Alright, here's a rant I wanted to keep close from the Ctrl+Alt+Del forums.  It was entitled "Why you believe in god"...something I thought was awfully strange concidering that all anyone was talking about was religious sects.  Anyway, here's my little blurb.  *shrug* it's 2pm...I'm going to bed.

---

*rubs head gently* this is such a tightly drawn conversation, and yet people cannot wait to throw themselves into it again and again.  And thus, it begins.

I've seen people discuss here not the belief in god..but their belief in -religious docterines-.

There is a difference.

Now then...belief in god is something special.  It's something there, in your heart, in your gut, just there.  You don't need some "oh my god I almost died...ah it must've been god!"  or "wah, my dog/granny/mother/pet rock died...I can't stand the thought of my loved ones being gone so there must be a heaven and god" or "Thats how I was raised" bologna.  No.  Belief in god is something that you feel.  It may follow a docterine, it may not.  You may agree with some points in a religion, you may disagree with some.  You may feel the urge to eat meat on a friday.  You may feel the urge not to lock your 16 year old daughter in a shed during her menses because she's unclean and will taint everything she touches.  So be it! And why is that okay?  Because in your heart, you believe.

Heck you don't even have to be a good person to believe in god.  You can be a downright horrible person and still believe in god.  Belief in something is easy, I mean, hell, I do believe that there is a half eaten box of cheerios downstairs.  Now...I may be right, I may be wrong.  Someone may tell me that Cheerios are evil, or that I'm wrong, that they're gone, or maybe they're honey nut cheerios...but what the hell does it matter if I believe? 

You know the great thing about it too?  You can change. your. mind.  No really, I promise, it's alright.  If you don't like gay people and your daughter comes out, and you go "Hmm, but she's a good person, I must've been wrong"  it is allowed to change your mind and evolve a little there.


*sigh* Now that is belief in god.  What mostly is going on here is talk of belief in religious docterine.

Mu-uch different.

Firstly, how many times has it been stated here that man has free will?  Alright.  And how many times has it been said that the bible is the word of god?  Alright. Now...-which- bible are you talking about?  Because really, there are a TON of them.  Which is the word of god again?  And which translation?  I mean...really the bible was translated into two-four other languages before into english.

I mean, goodness, I've read the version of the lords prayer that people go by, and the version of the lords prayer DIRECTLY translated from the original language to english.  Let me tell you, they are really nothing alike.

And honestly...whos to say that someone didn't take their free will and just...fudge a few things in the bible?  I mean...really now, there are so many versions of the damn thing running around, they can't all be perfectly right.

Belief in something is not reading from a book written forever and a half ago, translated so many times and rewritten that the original message is so garbled and then taking it as law, and then nit picking it appart and ignoring pieces you dont like.  That's being a damn copy cat.  Exercise some of that 'free will' that god gave you and think and feel for yourself, please I beg of you!  It's because people follow these rediculous paths, these books and these preachers and these other people without thinking for themselves first that trageties happen.  That biggotry happens.  That a baptist father beats his gay son.  That a catholic bombs a womens clinic.  That a muslim stones his wife.  That a satanist murders his neighbor. 

I mean, my goodness people...I honestly cannot think of more than a handful of people that I know that belief in god.  Everyone else believes in a book or an old story or what their preacher says or what their parents say or what they heard from this one guy on a bus stop.  Why not just...listen to yourself for once? Why is it so wrong these days to simply be agnostic, or eclectic and just...be alright with having thoughts that conflict with the major religions?  I just don't understand it.

Some of the most brilliant, intelligent, smart, articulate people I know...and when we get to this one topic they all turn into 3 year olds fighting over the last cookie.

Something that I love more than anything else in this world is a dreamer. Those people who are constantly flying, if only on the inside.

Here's a little ditty I wrote for someone I call Einar:

"I'll paint you the most beautiful cosmic storm for you to ride through. In brilliant colors that could only be named after the purest of emotions and variables of light that nobody's ever seen before. Something so radiant that in the end, the only one who will be able to grasp the magnificence will be you and you alone--for because of its brilliance, it will be lost upon the common man, with their amazing ability to forget everything but their own inaine lives and pass by anything of any true beauty as if it were nothing.


Damn I better get working on that... ... *calls crayola for their 24 box set of crayons*"

My latest work of "Un Art", my rant after reading yet another piece of crap from someone who will soon be deleted from my list.

---

---

Alright dumbasses, pay attention.  Shit like this:

"Tom is letting us all have tops 12's and he going to let us have 15 pics. Repost this and you will get these in 5 minutes"

Is annoying.  Tom is NOT going to send some bullshit bulletin around when he can just mass inbox message everyone or leave a note on his Own Page.  Yeah...have you noticed, you have him as a friend...ye-es Johnny, he has a page. *pats on head condecendingly*

And even if he did post some bogus lame ass bulletin, why... why why why the fuck would you need to repost anything in any amount of time?  I'm sorry but honestly... no wait, I'm not sorry...you're all fucking stupid.  I'm talking IQs under 20 stupid.  Like, you should get a fucking parking spot at the front of the store for that shit.

I'd bet my soul that you're the same brand of idjit that sends along those "Totally true, I saw it on the news" Emails that do absolutely nothing but make everyone who reads it's IQs drop and Blood Pressure rise.

Honestly, when you pass something like this along, do you sit at your computer, hitting F5 every twenty seconds, counting down that last vital ten seconds until five minutes, hit that last blissful refresh that will set your soul free and grant you some incredible 1337 kind of feature that nobody else has... ... only to find that all your hopes are dashed and... *gasp*  Nothing changed.  Except now all of your friend's IQs have dropped ten points and you all have to take the short bus to work.  Are you surprised?  I mean, honestly, I'm curious, are you?

Stop subjecting your supposed friends to your own ignorance and stupidity.  About the only "acceptable" form of moronicy is something that at least will grant some kind of humor and fill up some time, like surveys that nobody cares about, or those long ass lists of crap that everyone posts and adds their name to with some less than witty response. 

At least that requires some kind of input and time expenditure.  I mean, really, that's no worse than calling up a friend and talking about random bullshit because you're bored off your ass and you're waiting for the new Project Runway to come on in an hour.

These on the other hand require NOTHING.  They're simple ghetto fucking lame copy and past jobs from some idiot who thought it would be funny some days ago to annoy the masses.  It's some sterile, congealed mass of stupid that someone found while digging in their ear with a toothpick and decided to plop onto a text page.  It requires no thought, no originality, no personal touches, no love, they're not funny, they're not interesting, they're not even factual. 

So Why Do You Bother?

Honestly, it makes me want to give in to those German tendancies from my ancestry and just start a new kind of genocide.  A war on stupidity.  You know... ...I bet that Bush passes those things on.  Fuck.

Somehow I just don't think that Tom had this sad excuse for intelligent conversing when he put in the bulletin feature.  It's so that when there's something actually important going on, you don't have to email or message every single one of your fourty something friends (Because let's just admit it, if you're here, you have a base of at least 25 friends, and growing by the week, if not day). 

What amazes me is that you actually have the balls to get upset when you post a real bulletin, one of actual importance and substance that pertains to -you-.  Something you really want to get out to your friends.  But unfortunately it gets lost in the mass of twenty "Post this in 4.2 minutes or your pubic hair will turn purple" that you posted that day, and your friends have stopped paying attention to your bulletins months ago because they're tired of opening up nothing but shit.  And yet, you get pissed off because nobody responds to it?  Jiminy Cricket on a Cracker with his legs spread!  And maybe I want purple pubic hair! Who knows, man, some people are freaky like that.

As I said, with a minimal base of 25 and every third person on there making a list of fourteen damn bulletins a day, I'm just not going to be able to pass through that soupy mass of deliciously bored failure in a day.  Really, I don't want to either.  Especially when at least every third one is a copy from someone earlier in the day.  I'd hate to break it to you, but you're NOT being original.  Nope.  I've seen the same damn thing posted about fifteen minutes ago by the little boy with nothing but a burlap sack for a torso I keep on my list.

Sorry, but really, if you want people to actually pay attention and listen to your bulletins, if you actually post anything of any substance or importance, you need to stop posting twenty something masses of "Pass this on to five other people within seven minutes or your toenails will uproot themselves and stab you in your sleep" chain letters. *Plew, I'm glad I dodged that bullet and passed it on*  Gah.

Shit...I mean at least when I post bullshit, I take the time to make a smart ass comment in the title so people know it's bullshit.  And anything -real- with any importance I initial or do something so hey, it catches the attention. 

"*going through lists*  Pass it on. Pass it on. Whats your Jedi Name. Survey. Survey. Pass it on. Make your Penis Larger. Oh shit, that's Samantha's and it doesn't have "Dear god help us" in the title...and there's the §A hmm, I wonder what that little cracked out midget librarian has to say."

See how that works?  Yeah *pats on the head*  At least I'm polite about my crap.  And even then, I'm not going to pass on stupid untraceable bullshit that promises to give me true love or make my penis longer or make little fairy elves prance around my space if I pass it on in four minutes and twelve seconds.  Firstly, I probably couldn't recognize true love if it hit me in the head, repeatedly, with a lead pipe.  My Penis is plenty long already, and really, length is overrated (YES I FUCKING SAID IT...and it's about time).   And I have enough Fairies on my page, thanks, I have MTH, Addy, Whin and Lex on there.

Point of this rant?  Stop making people stupider. (See! I've already dropped, I said "Stupider" instead of "more stupid")  And if you insist on posting this crap, don't be surprised when your cry for attention suicidal "help me guys' post is flooded out and ignored by your friends because they've all be stupidified by your leech like posts to the point that they cant figure out how to use the mouse any longer.

That being said, carry on.  And remember, be kind, rewind.

*rubs her head*  Foamy ain't got shit on The Inevitable, Inescapable Samantha.

§A  --  Infuriating the masses since 1984  -- 
Brought to you by the Letter "Si"

In other news:

It seems that in the wake of the holidays that Sami's been forgotten.  *aw, tear, slurps tear*  Pfft.  Now let's have a moment of silence for those who actually give a damn.  *crickets sound*  SILENCE I SAID *Stomps crickets to death*

Really, it's not that big of a deal.  *little shrug*  I mean, it is a pain to listen to everyone talk about their amazing holidays and the families and smile and go "You lucky duck...wow" when you sat at home all day, watching old Queer Eye reruns.   Not that Queer Eye isnt worthy.  I love that show.  Honestly.

But it's just a little like... *Shoves to corner of the world and throws sticks*  Kinda like that.  *shrug*  Though I hear that my mother's having some kind of xmas gathering in the middle of January...so I spose that's something.  *prepares her wallets for gift cards since nobody in her family knows her well enough to get her anything of substance*  Really I like hanging around my siblings and my mother.  Well...I get along with most of them.  Something very odd about Amos where he and I never really...did the...clicking thing? *tilt, hand gestures* you get me?  But yeah, I like him just fine, just something's always been there that kind of... I don't know, blah! *chuckles*  But I love spending time with my family.  It's fun.  And I get to help mom around, which is something I love.  Couldnt' tell you why, but even though she had a pretty awful halloween, I loved being there for her and basically setting everything up, doing the porch and getting her to get into costume... I loved it.

Anyway, as wonderfully off topic as that was *laughs*

Yeah, so though a little late but nice, my wonderful wonderful amazing friend Addy made me an incense holder.  *now just needs to get incense*  God I love that boy.  *rubs her head*  Meh, or something.  Okay it's a sick obsession, I know I know, I need to knock it off but damn...

In other news, MTH, my other amazingly wonderful friend, Matt: The Homo (the great guy I quote from sometimes when we talk), well he stopped by and gave me a CD of him singing and playing guitar.   He is an AMAZING songster.  Really, he is.  I've been listening to the same five songs constantly.  So I thought that I'd share some of my favorite lyrics with you folks. 

"You smell as sweet as amaretto
your monotone glances used to tear me apart
now its the silence from the back of my car

Did you ever see my sentimental scars
Left to fade away like plastic stars
Can't you see how they glow in the dark
Can't you see how they glow in the dark
Can't you see how they glow in the dark
Sorry angel but we'll never get that far

*rock out*

It's been a long year
Gather up the failures
In place and context
Lest we forget that
Matches that burn down bridges
Are laid with the noblest intentions
You put your heart in a paper bag
Now my heart's in a paper bag
Yeah my hearts in a paper bag

And I say we ditch this party
Someday we'll ditch this life
Perhaps you tell me angel

Is that a road map
in your pocket?
*can't tell...what he says*
Cause if it is
I should've fallen apart
By now."


Beautiful...absolutely wonderfully amazing. 

Gosh all the good men are gay. *sigh* heheheh.

Oh, yes, and for the fans, her's a picture that Addy took of me for New Years.  Yes, I know you don't get to see the Corset, Fishnets or the swee through sheer skirt.  *shrug* Sorry.



I didn't even realize he was taking the picture.  I was talking to Josh at that point, heh.
I'll have to ask Kevin for the pictures.  He was...obsessed with the outfit, and I know he has some. 


Until then, lovelies, I'll see you around *salutes*
-§A

This has been me lately.  Who needs sleep?  Not SAMI! *Cackling*

Best Thing Written Ever. EVER!

Because stupid Spaces has a language barrier!! *mutter* EVIL!

*giggle* Yes, I've been up all night, and I don't plan on sleeping.  But that's beside the point. For all those who don't know, the 21st was the Winter Solstice. For the Wiccans, the rebirth of the Sun (not Son since Jesus was born in June). And Yay the days are now getting longer! About time. But here are some pictures from our Solstice Celebration

Check this out:

Our Lovely Solstice Candle with glass rocks, flowers, incense Jen brought, Glitter and Heather Oil in it (Heather Protects against rape and glitter attracts gay men (who wouldn't touch us with a 100foot pole anyway), so mom says that we were involking all the gay men in a 100 ft radius to us heheh)


Our beautiful Tree!  I brought yarn and we ended up chaining a bunch and putting tinsel in it, and mama made the tinfoil 'sun' on top, hehe. All the white is me freaking out, cept Liana and Jen braided some too.  Everyone had a blast playing with the yarn.  The tin foil thing on the side is a penticle with green and red embroidery thread from Star. The Green and Red yarn at the bottom is from Mama, the yellow at the top is from Dee and there were birds and nests all over it too!


This is all who showed up.  From Left to right, Jen, Dee, Joel, Mama, Star, Liana and I.

Jen and Dee are SO FUN.  Just really amazing people...*sigh* yeah...good good folks all around. *smile*.

Okay well I love you all... ... ... *twitch* ...I'm going to drink some coffee! *twitch*
§A

So, I've gotten this question entirely too much, and I realize that I'm hard to shop for because I'm one of those lovely people who are content with what they have...which is great!  But I'm hell to shop for. 

Being that I'm tired of having people ask for ideas, and I hate having to pawn gifts...and I don't need any more clutter shit...here are some infamous suggestions of death and destruction that any Sami will love. And they're cheep too (Nate and Whit, pay attention *laughs*)

-Sami is going to love anything you get her, regardless, (even just a hug) so stop stressing, but if you must...

-Every Sami loves incense (as long as it's not Cinnamon or Jasmine.  Jasmine is an aphrodesiac...and nobody wants a horny Sami. ICK)

-Yarn! (I'm running out of blues and greens.  And if you want a blanket or something, give me the colors and then I can make something for ya.  Then we can both be happy! And it's like...under a buck for two things of yarn)

-Draw me a damn picture.  If you wanna get fancy, frame it.  (Of anything.  As you've all seen, my walls are barren...and white blows donkey balls)

-Slab o' wax (Running low for my candle makin'.)

-Essential oils (once more, runnin' low for my candle makin'.)

-Embroidery thread (...mostly blues and blacks and whites.  I like puttin' them in my hair when I put it up...but I realized all I have is baby poop green.  Yeah... ... ...not puttin' that in there *chuckles*)

-Yo Mama! (Kidding, I like my mom.  She blinks. *gently prods* heheh)

-Stolen music and videos from the internet (But yeah, if you're too cheep to buy a cd, zip it and send them to my email sami.sam@gmail.com.  Lately been looking for Red Vs Blue season 3 (good luck finding it) or really just about any anime.  I'm adventurous *wink*
Disclaimer: Sami does not condone the theft of downloading music or videos off the internet...*hides her pirate eyepatch*  )

-Compile a music list and send it to my email.  Hell, even just a list then I'll download them.  I don't care! (Music's always great, and having a themed list like "Funny shit" or "dnd skits" or "Shit that reminds me of you" is just sweet and makes me melt)

-A cheesy online Greeting Card (Where?  Try 123greetings.com  or bluemountain.com or even greeting-cards.com  If you're adventurous, find a picture, stick it in paint, scrawl "HAPPY HOLIDAYS" across it and send it to me through email.  It gets the point across, heheh.)

-Slap some words together (One of the sweetest gifts I've ever gotten was when Jordango wrote me a poem.  I still have it four years later and love it.  Shit even something like "If I were you, and you were me, then we'd be "we", except for me, for being you, would cause for me, to kill myself, so mote it be!"  Though that's a mean poem... heheh)


As you can see, kiddies, Sami's are not that hard to please.  The pure joy and rapture that knowing that you were thinking of them is enough to make them giggle like a school girl and jump on you with a big ol kiss and then let the sex commence.  Unless you're not into that...then a handshake will do.

Love you guys, and Happy Assorted Holidays.  HAPPY WINTER-EEN-MAS!!! (Thank you Ctrl+Alt+Del ... )

-The Inescapable, Inevitable Sami

So, it seems I've gotten into a kind of verbal... I wont say sparring, more of a collaberative effort or piggy backing with my dear MTH (no, not MTHC, Steven *smirk*).  With so many fun words being thrown around, it seems a shame to let them go to waste.  So here we go

MTH: i think there has been a divide in the country, it started 20 years ago.  this is the era when no one is happy with their upbringing.  this is the time when the lost are not discovered, they are the discoverers. 

§A: When children are brought up only to be lost and led in circles, they have no choice but to become the discoverers. To blaze their own paths through nonchalance and apathy that rage in this time and age. The modern day Lewis and Clark are two boys with shaggy hair and glaring empty eyes reaching out for something that not even they know.

 

 

-----------------------------------

 MTH wrote this poem and while speaking to him about 'the issue at hand', this came up:

"If the world were incased in one of those snowglobes, I would be the one to shake it.  You could be a tiny snowflake.  Yourself and others like you are all lost in a flurry, but readily recognizable individually.  When I look inside I catch myself thinking, can you observe the world you see from the sphere?  Or are you as taken as I,  in your own swirrling current?  The cure for this nausea's caught in the castle you twirled around as you fell.  The shaking has ceased and the story commenced.  Is your world that different from whats outside of it?  "

I want to remember this.

 

He's wonderful...and makes one hell of a bowl of cheerios *smile*

Last one, I promise.

Be prepared...this is probably the biggest waste of space and time I've ever thrown myself into.  Yay!

Your Power Color Is Indigo

At Your Highest: You are on a fast track to success - and others believe in you. At Your Lowest: You require a lot of attention and praise. In Love: You see people as how you want them to be, not as how they are. How You're Attractive: You're dramatic flair makes others see you as mysterious and romantic. Your Eternal Question: "Does This Work Into My Future Plans?"

Your Mood Ring is Orange

Stimulating ideas Daring Full of desires

Your World View

You are a happy, well-balanced person who likes people and is liked by others. You question whether many conventional views on morality are valid under all circumstances. You are essentially a content person. Sometimes, you consider yourself a little superior. You are moral by your own standards. You believe that morality is what best suits the occasion.

Your Hidden Talent

You have the power to persuade and influence others. You're the type of person who can turn a whole room around. The potential for great leadership is there, as long as you don't abuse it. Always remember, you have a lot more power over people than you might think!

You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

You Are Apple Cider

Smooth and comforting. But downright nasty when cold.

You are Agonistic

You're not sure if God exists, and you don't care. For you, there's no true way to figure out the divine. You rather focus on what you can control - your own life. And you tend to resent when others "sell" religion to you.

Your Inner Child Is Surprised

You see many things through the eyes of a child. Meaning, you're rarely cynical or jaded. You cherish all of the details in life. Easily fascinated, you enjoy experiencing new things.

You Are Likely a Third Born

At your darkest moments, you feel vulnerable. At work and school, you do best when you're comparing things. When you love someone, you tend to like to please them. In friendship, you are loyal to one person. Your ideal careers are: sales, police officer, newspaper reporter, inventor, poet, and animal trainer. You will leave your mark on the world with inventions, poetry, and inspiration.

Your Hair Should Be Red

Passionate, fiery, and sassy. You're a total smart aleck who's got the biggest personality around.

You Are 60% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right? But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

You Should Get a PhD in Liberal Arts (like political science, literature, or philosophy)

You're a great thinker and a true philosopher. You'd make a talented professor or writer.

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it. That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power! The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism. You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world. Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in. You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you? You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways. Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you. As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

Your Blogging Type is Pensive and Philosophical

You blog like no one else is reading... You tend to use your blog to explore ideas - often in long winded prose. Easy going and flexible, you tend to befriend other bloggers easily. But if they disagree with once too much, you'll pull them from your blogroll!

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent. Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art. You would make an excellent: Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

You Are 24 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

Your Birthdate: November 1

Your birthday suggests that are executive ability and leadership qualities in your makeup. A birthday on day 1 of any month gives a measure of will power and self-confidence, and very often a rather original approach. This 1 energy may diminish your ability and desire to handle details, preferring instead to paint with a broad brush. You may be sensitive, but your feelings stay rather repressed.

How You Life Your Life

You are honest and direct. You tell it like it is. You tend to avoid confrontation and stay away from sticky situations. You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly. You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

Your Blog Should Be Green

Your blog is smart and thoughtful - not a lot of fluff. You enjoy a good discussion, especially if it involves picking apart ideas. However, you tend to get easily annoyed by any thoughtless comments in your blog.

Alright, so let's do this thing! *sniff* It's so nice to be included on forms of torture.

 

10 years ago I was...
-10 years old

-Just descovering the wonders of training bras

-Getting over my father's splitting from his girlfriend

-Still playing with legos

-Just finishing up my last year in Elementary School

-Was still an over acheiver

5 years ago I was...
-15 years old

-Trying to deal with cameras in the house and "little gray men"

-Sick of the concept of the bra

-A Sophomore in High School

-Still called my future fiance' "Traitor"

-Still living at home, but only for another year

-Hiding the fact I still played with Legos

-Tried my first Final Fantasy Game

Yesterday I
-Let my roomate Drive me home from the Airport
-Got into a car accident
-Ditched the accident due to a warrant
-Hurt my neck and tore a hole in my pants and hand
-Didn't sleep until 3pm
-Messed up my sleeping schedual
-Came back to Minnesota
-Said "Shit" and "brrr" and "It'll be alright" a LOT
-Ate a Mamba (It was yummy)
-Saw Serenity (good movie)

5 Snacks I enjoy
-Mambas
-Cheddar Cheese and Crackers
-Oranges
-Puppy Chow (the chex mix kind, not real dog food)
-Cheese melted over tortilla chips

5 Songs I know all the words to
Meh, lots but I don't know the names.

5 Thinks I would do with 100 Million Dollars
-Put most of it away somewhere for neices/nephews college
-Donate a crapload to certain charities
-Visit all the neat people I've met and hang around the world
-Renovate my mother's house for her, buy the lot next door and make her house bigger for her birds and all the people she houses (sister, brother, sister's boyfriend)
-Put myself, Joshua and Steven through college and have a place for all of us to call home

5 places I would run away to
-Hawaii
-Colorado
-My Mother's
-The Astral Plane
-Indian Heights

5 things I would Never Wear
-A Thong Bikini
-Nipple Clips
-Pasties
-Clear Heals
-That's...about it.

5 6 Favorite TV shows
-Family Guy
-Pirates of Dark Water
-Cowboy Bebop
-Rurouni Kenshin
-Samurai Champloo
-X Men (yeah, so they're all cartoons...so bite me *grin*)

5 Fictional Characters I would date
-Gambit *purr*
-Silver Veil (she's foxy) 
-Vanyel (I'd date him, he wouldn't date me.  I don't have a penis)
-Firesong (...I'm just one big fag hag)
-Goblin King from Laberynth

5 People I tag this to
-Cletus
-Steven *huggles the beautiful miss Z*
-Elisa
-Mina
-Steven/Panda
-Sami

So, it seems we have a new member to welcome to the family...*trumpets sound*  Introducing Kitty the Hungry Cat!  Well alright, I can't find my camera, or else I'd take a picture of him, but he's an adorable kitten, maybe 2-3 months old or so.  Gray and darker colored tabby...he reminds me of Number Two (Everybody go "Awww").

Here's how we happened upon having this little gem of a kit...

 

Erin was out visiting Christian *supresses wretching, forced smile* and he got into his car, letting his door swing open, just sitting there...and this kitten jumps up in his lap.  No collar, nails unclipped, obviously malnourshed, dirty, flea infested and young...but the darn thing just jumped up there in his lap and started purring.  So there Erin sat for about an hour, debating "Do I bring him home, or leav ehim here..." Well, obviously he brought the sucker home *chuckles*.   It's such a charming, loving little thing *swoooooon*  Honestly, it's a sweetheart.

 

So...Erin goes ahead and says my find, my cat...okay...well that's understandable I mean, right?  Completely so.  Only thing I have to wonder is...if he's going to take care of it.  Just last week he was saying that he didn't like cats or dogs and wouldn't want one.  That and school is starting soon...he's hardly ever home as it is...and to be honest, he kind of treats the cat like a new toy...expecting it to play with him when he wants and the like.  Cats...aren't like that.  Dogs, sure!  But cats are independent and generally tell you to fuck off if they aren't in the mood. So I worry.  Not so much for the cats well being...just that I'm going to end up taking care of him....which I don't mind because we ended up hanging out together all day anyway and I love that little fuzzball....but that I'm going to get attached and Erin's going to be all "MINE!" and eventually it'll be like Number Two all over again... *sigh*

 

And Josh doesn't like cats...and I just don't like things smelling like cat...so as long as he cleans up after it, I'm good.  I'm surely not going to clean up after someone elses animal (Oh please... *rolls her eyes* If he's going to claim ownership like that).  But then again, the boy can't even clean his own dishes, pick up after himself or do his laundry.  I don't know how he's going to take care of another creature if he's having trouble with himself.  Especially with school starting up soon.  I guess we'll see what happens.

 

 

 

On another note, I've been yelled at twice for things in my blog in the past 2 days or so...two or three days.  So, I'm sorry to say that I'm going to have to find another place to be uncensored in my rants and such, and stop putting down so much here and sharing with you folks.  Which really is quite unfortunate and makes me upset...*sigh* .... ... but I suppose a person's personal entries just aren't meant for everyone...and people just can't accept that and leave it alone.  Ah well.  To each his own.

 

Doesn't mean I'm going to stop posting here. Not at all.  But, that does mean you can expect more generic-y goodness out of this site. *thumbs up*  Just going to have to find somewhere else to post my personal reference of life and just stick to G rated impersonal stuff here.  Gah...sometimes I honestly have a dislike of society.  That and leaving a note is one thing, but trying to have it out with me one on one is another.

 

Anyway, I have things to do, people to defuse and tomorrow begins the weekend *thumbs up*  Hopefully some hiking, fighting, training, harvesting and just some good ol' easy going days.  ... ... ...

 

*Laughs hysterically* Yeah...sure.

 

§A

And this is why I love some people... this is the opening to a letter posted in LA Times written by Steven Johnson, author of Everything Bad Is Good for You: How Today's Popular Culture Is Actually Making Us Smarter.  A book I'm definately going to have to find...and a blog I'm going to have to read more often.

This is in relation to the blow up about the Hot Coffee scene found in GTA San Andreas recently.  Enjoy


"Dear Senator Clinton:

I'm writing to commend you for calling for a $90-million study on the effects of video games on children, and in particular the courageous stand you have taken in recent weeks against the notorious "Grand Theft Auto" series.

I'd like to draw your attention to another game whose nonstop violence and hostility has captured the attention of millions of kids — a game that instills aggressive thoughts in the minds of its players, some of whom have gone on to commit real-world acts of violence and sexual assault after playing.

I'm talking, of course, about high school football."

If you'd like to read the entire letter, here you go *giggle* 

So, today while I was trying to find a college ruled notebook I stumbled (Litterally) over my old English College Notebook.  So, I decided to see what papers I had left over.  And I found this rather lovely piece.  It's my first piece of the semester, a quick (So stop bitching, Kraig) one page report on a belief that we had.

Now keep in mind, most people, when they think of "A belief" they think of things like...God, Jesus, Naturalism, Feminism, Abortion, Capital Punishment...things of that nature.  But I'm so bored with those topics!  I exhausted them in high school with debate, speech class, government class, and three years of english and one of creative writing.  (I don't care what anyone says, "writing" just looks wrong with one "T").   So...being bored with these topics, I chose one that I found to be quite wonderful.

---

So...Steven and Earth Mama were all about this forum, Entheology.com  and while I am certainly NOT a fan of forums (other than BigBlueBall) I was a tad skeptical.  But, I checked it out anyway because it never hurts to just scope it out.  The topic itself is rather interesting, Salvia Divinorum.  Look it up.  

 

Anywho, Steven and I were making our introductory messages and someone just CLAMPED onto (out of a long list of things he does) the fact that Steven is a Drag Queen.  So therefore he's gay.  OH MY GAWD! A FAG! RUN!

 

*sigh* well this fellow, Div starts going on and on about how it's against nature and her intention that sex should be procreative and all this.  Well alright...but he goes about it in a way that is so condecending and just...rude especially to a newcommer that it was just...too much.  That and he talks about "You Humans" as if he wasn't one.  Really you'd have to know him and read some of this to understand, but he's interesting.  Anyway, then someone else speaks up with how "gay folks just come in and flaunt their sexuality like some greeting card" and this bullshit.  So that was that...and Steven was all "Fuck this shit this is how they welcome people...fuck it"

 

Well...I let that slip and suddenly everyone was -appauled- with the two's actions...and it spawned a whole thread on the question of homosexuality.  Thankfully they didn't play the lame ass religion card.  But...yes after a while I started wondering about it more and more and decided to make one of the most longwinded (which is surprising) posts I've ever made on a forum.  And I think overall, it went pretty okay...especially concidering I lost my original point halfway through it.

 

Anyway, because I don't feel like pouring my heart out right now, I'm going to recopy it and let whoever wishes (Not Kraig obviously since anything longer than two paragraphs is too much to read.  Heh.  Ge-ek!) whoever wishes to read it.

 

=================

"Alright, here's a small question I have, just something I was wondering about idly.

Div, you've expressed that it's rather self explanitory what nature wants and does not want us to do, correct? If I'm reading this properly...

quote:

---

quote:

---

and how exactly do you know, with your improper senses and improper mind, what is?

---

gee, if you can't figure that out just by using your own eyes and mind, well then you'll probably have to learn the hard way then.

---

Well, what better way to understand Nature and get her message than to watch those other creatures in the natural world that have been 'untainted' and are still living in harmony with her, unlike us, apparently? Would it be fair to say that from observing the patterns in nature's animals, we will be able to find the answers to what is right and what is wrong by her? So let's look at the animals to find what is proper and what is unacceptable.

• Many animals eat their young when they are first born unless separated immediately.
• Pack animals establish rank with sexual actions and prowess often, even when it is male to male.
• Most creatures are not monogamous and simply wander from fertile being to fertile being, often in a "breeding ground orgy" environment.
• There is a history of animals showing homosexual tendancies when in overpopulation, or in some species, as a sign of friendship or just as a -need- to copulate, like dragonflies.
• Animals may breed with their siblings, parents or grandparents.
• There has been a history as well of gender changing in animals, known now as called hermaphrodites which are divided into two groups: simultaneous hermaphrodites which function as both sexes at the same time, and sequential hermaphrodites which function first as one sex, then change to the other. Some of these animals are slipper-shell limpets, tanaids, sheepshead fish, black, grizzly and polar bears.
• There have been instances of infertile animals still trying to breed regardless of their inability (my mothers breeding birds are proof enough of that).
• Many animals with an extended life span to that of a human are sexually mature and begin to have children as early as the age of one year.
• Not to mention species confusion where animals become fixated with other species and try to copulate with them. Many species of frogs, for example, are known for attempting to mate with anything that moves which isn't small enough to eat.
• Males in many animal types do not hang around after impregnating a female.

So, by this definition of Nature, it is acceptable to eat your children, have sex indiscriminantly in public orgy situations, run out on your family if you're a male, have sex with other animals and inanimate objects, have sex with your siblings and parents, hump your boss if you want a raise, be homosexual or bisexual, throw your baby away or abandon it if it's not completly 100% healthy.
So, there are some things in nature that humans do follow. There are canibals, sexual deviants, homosexuals, hermaphrodites, incestrial people, nudists, exhibitionists, tramps, teen mothers, baby abandoners (heh...abandoners, oy bad grammar). But how are many of these people met in society? Not so warmly in a lot of situations, I would imagine...yet it is a natural thing to do, is it not? Males in every species (except a few) run from female to female, not monogomous at all, yet in humans, it is uncooth to do so, though it happens. So, are those people just following their natural instincts? When a man becomes attracted to his daughter when she is of fertile age, is it wrong for him and her to procreate if they're both fertile? Furthermore, is it alright for any baren or sterile person to -ever- have sexual relations? So when these things happen that human's generally deem as "wrong", are they actually in the right? It occures in nature, so are they simply following their instincts and human society is wrong? It wouldn't be the first time, really.

I can completely accept that Human Society has some strange, disturbed, twisted and hurtful ideas that are generally taken just as they are. But where is that line between what is natural and what is simply socially acceptable? Is it alright to try and create as many people as you can in your lifetime even if it means running from fertile woman to fertile woman? Is it okay to hump a bath spicket? If your dog begins to think of you as its mate, is it alright to have sex with it? If not...when why? These things occur in nature and thus, they must be what she intended in some way or another, yes?

Though, we can all here understand the idea of having one unfocussed, sick person that is mentally unstable, sick and should've probably by nature's standards, should've been eaten with a side of ketchup at their birth, and they can do some pretty disturbing things. But...where does the line of nature and human law exist?

Really I'm not looking for explanations, just curious points to ponder, idle questions. I have a tendancy to lean more towards the 'observational points' type of discussing rather than the usual 'point, counter-point' type of discussion which can quickly turn into arguing.

So, most people would say that, no, some things that are alright with animals are not alright for humans. Such as running around naked and humping on anything that crosses their path. Therefore, it is safe to say that anyone with "eyes and mind" can tell you that some species have different rules than others.

• Such as when turtles bare young, they lay eggs and abandon them, while birds could not do that.
• The female praying mantis rips the head from the male's shoulders during sex, while I can't quite see a bear or a human doing that.
• Or what about seahorses? The males carry the children, though could you imagine the problems that would occur if human males did? *gets the asprin*
• What about frogs? When bullfrogs mate it can last for several days! The male just clamps onto the female and hangs around for a few days before leaving...while in many other species that could prove to be more than peculiar but also life threatening.

So, we can establish from this that some animals have different rules than others. Dolphins have sex for recreation, frogs have sex for days, sea turtles abandon young, dogs and birds eat their young, monkeys fling feces and dragonflies try to have sex with inanimate objects. Every species has it's own rules, it's own differences, and while we have our differences, there are some common threads between them.

• Birds and Alligators care for their young after they're hatched.
• Most snakes lay eggs, but some also have live young, just like patypus' are the only mammals who lay eggs. They defy the rule, but aren't alone.
• Gulls, heyenas and dogs may eat their own young.
• Humans, dolphins and bonobos have sex for pleasure or to express bonding.

So even when there are exceptions to some traits in certain species, they are not always alone, and thus, they cannot completely be dubbed as 'unnatural' can they?
Homosexuality is something that is shown in many instances in natural habbitats, along with many other things that people still believe aren't 'right' for whatever reason. So who is wrong? The animals for being naked or the humans who prefer clothing? The animals for mating with other species, or the humans that don't condone it? The animals that express love in sex and not just some purely carnal lust even when it's not reproductive, or those who wander from mate to mate to mate spawning offspring like its going out of style?

*shrug* When we all come down to it, humans are animals, so why should we be so surprised in our sense of "propriety" and "moral fiber" when we see some of the same traits in nature reflected in us? Really...I don't think it's a question of what is "natural" or not...I think it's an excuse for those who simply don't deem it "proper" and have realized that other than the thin religious aspect, that's all they have to cling to that makes any sense whatsoever. And even that is thin.

-------------
As a side note, I do find it funny in the gentlest and most respectful of ways that Div separates himself from the rest of us Humans. I can see that we are a rather unimpressive, destructive species and don't blame him whatsoever for trying to create separation. ... ... ... Though I do find it downright hillerious that while we're so despicable...he still chooses us to converse with.

And really, I'm almost curious what it is that puts him above us. Do you not live in a house? Eat food from a store, which was manufactured in factories that are probably by all means of arguments sake, against nature and could be quite harmful to her? Do you recycle? And if so, did you know that other than cans, most recycling processes due to sterilization and such are more hamrful to the environment than helpful?

*chuckles* Just kind of silly things that swim through my mind. Though I do admire you for your atypical sense of person and your unabashed nature to tell your opinion unflinchingly.

And yes, I adored the rain we had the other day. It was beautiful.

------------
Great Odens Ghost that was long. My appologies, one and all...I'm sure I lost my point somewhere along the way...but I'm a rambler like that. *cackles* Pretty soon I'm going to be roped off to my own "Rambling" thread! "

==================

 

And this...was Steven's Hot Response...I found it both beautiful, funny and...well...just fun.

 

===================

"Div....

WOW youre absolutely fabulous at this lets offend Jadon thing! Your little statement about how gays are practically responsible for the existence and spread of aids is probably the most erroneous, ignorant, and offensive statement I have seen from you yet. I would like to point out that there are more STRAIGHT WOMEN living with aids than gay men.... Now if it came from gay bestiality where along the lines did the str8ies get it...esp the women???

Also you decided to equate homosexuality with promiscuity.... And I'm pretty sure you've done it again! *Open mouth insert foot* Thats got to be another one of the most stereotypically ignorant and absolutely absurd statements ive come accross!
Who are you- Pat Robertson(700 club)??? I would have you know that Erin and I are strictly Monogomous...theres not a promiscuis bone in either of us! And the fact that you still spew mindless drivle about things you are not even aquainted with is rather disturbing.

I love how you assume that people having sex means no one has any clue what the letters HIV or AIDS mean.... and yes incase you didnt know those are acronyms...

Sex serves more purposes than just that of procreation! It serves to grow together with your partner. It is the ultimate expression of intimacy and love. So saying that i should not have sex with someone that i love because its not causing a child-is just plain STUPID. Its not about getting my rocks off. Its about love... and you are no one to judge whether or not my love and expression thereof is valid! Remember that!

The Gaian Principles Of Sexuality
By Jesse Wolf Hardin
-Founder of the New Earth Spirituality Project
-Author of "Gaia Eros"

"*You are a component and member of the living earth, Gaia. It is your responibility, and your gift, to feel.
*The body is a portal to the Earth, and sacred sex, a pathway into the depths of the sensate body.
*You are a sensual being, and the only shame is in failing to express and manifest your native needs, or to give to others and to gaia the gift of your loving touch.
*Love yourself as an extension of the sacred Earth. Love others as extensions of yourself.
*Touch your body when it hurts, and give it pleasure when it doesnt. Brush your hair more slowly than usual, taking time to notice how good it really feels.
*Experiment with nontraditional sexual relations, methods, and forms. Then commit wholeheartedly to only those that best fulfill your authentic self and real needs.
*All acts are healthy that honor and gladden the beloved, and contribute to the unity of the whole.
*Practice a combination of awareness and trust. Surrender to that which is worthy of surrendering. Allow the boundaries to dissolve, the self to pour out in reunion with the beloved.
*Quiet the mind, and percieve the beloved through each sense in turn. Alternately focus on them through the touch of fingertips, the scent of heated flesh, the sounds of impassioned moves and heavy breathing.
*Dont just rub the beloveds skin-pinch and cradle it, stroke and graze it.
*Make unscheduled love, out of doors and away from the clamor and distraction of your normal busy life.
*The natural world is sometimes rought, sometimes soft. Thus love making should at times be hard and fast, and other times gentle and slow.
*Tune into the connection between sex and food, food and earth.
*Indulge your dreams, for they are the dreams of this fecundate living planet.
*Make evry act intimate, and every intimate act a conscious ritual of connection and delight.
*Sense an unbroken chain of lovers reaching back though the ages, paw to paw, wing to wing.
*Experience the eroticism of a hot bath, and really get into the way a mountain creek feels as it ripples over your belly and legs. Press your body against giving, moss covered-earth, and feel the Earth loving you back.
*Every moment is a decisive moment, and every day a series of commitments to self, other, Earth, and Sprit. Keep them!
*Tend the Goddess in every woman, The God in every man. Treat their bodies as agents and altars, their hearts as the one heart of Gaia."

Well i must say though... if there is a poitive thing to say...props to you for not whipping out the bible on me.... but rather came up with new and exciting ways of gay bashing!
so lets recap...
Fag ≠ Aids
Gay ≠ Promiscuis
Div ≠ Judge and master of the universe"

=====================

 

I'm really going to have to read Gaia Eros like he's been telling me too now.  That was a most poetically beautiful exerpt from it... *trills her tongue a bit*  Hmm...yes yes, but I think that's enough for tonight.  I'm sure this is long enough for you folks.  Heheh, let's see how man folks actually read it...hmmmm should be interesting.

 

Be well

§A

 

So...are you guys ready for something insane?

I'm actually not doing too bad.   No...no I'm serious.  No...no stop laughing!   Gah! Great Ceasers Ghost! *cackles* No, really, other than the fact that I'm still sick after a week and my body -aches- so badly that I'm thinking about skinning myself.  Josh and I are doing well, surprisingly well.  It's like...hmm....well nothing's changed, except something has.  You know?  *laughs* I know it's hard to explain.

Okay. Let me try again.

Josh + Sami = BFF *cackles*   Well, nothing's really changed in what we do.  He still takes care of me, I take care of him.  He still says I love you, as do I.  We still wrestle around and do stupid shit together.  And most of the time we sleep in the same bed, though we are trying to ween off of that.  It's just going to take a while since neither of us can sleep well without someone there with us.  I gave him his own dresser in the bedroom and we set up his boxes and air mattress in the basement.  And over all we're doing really really well.  When we agreed to split up, he was giving me a hug and I told him "You know...I feel like I should be sad" ... ... ... He said "Yeah...me too".  Funny how that works out, hmm? 

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

So, I got sick the day after my last entry.  I'm still sick.  And to be honest, I feel like hell.  Like hell that was hit by a truck, then put through a spaghetti maker...you know...those things that look like the play-do squeezers that spit out the squigglies... *cackles* Man I'm crazy today...mmm... *sigh* heheheh.  I suppose it's backlash for feeling like hell for so long, hehehe.   But yes, I was sick, still am sick, but the point is that when Josh came home, I felt too bad to have him have the party at the house...so he had it at his friend, Thomas' house. 

I basically was going to lout in bed all day...that was until Brandon showed up on my doorstep, heh, the dork.  But yes, Steven, Brandon and I went to Prada's since it was his birthday too...but he was grumpy the whole time.  We went to eat at Billotti's, told Brandon about the infamous 3rd street ramp when we parked there and held my tongue all the way through the meal.  Afterwards, Brandon wasn't in very good shape, he had a really bad headache and the Ride Control was out in his car so we were bouncing all over ( My boobs feckin hurt).  But we went back to the house and Prada, Adam and Steven went to Prada's.  Brandon took a nap and Lance came over...we talked, I woke Brandon up at 9 and we sat around, yadda yadda.  Nothing really spectacular until Erin came home.

*sigh*  So yeah, Brandon and I were sitting outside and Steven just runs out into the back yard.   We look at eachother and say "Okay, who's running interfearance and who's staying for Erin".  So he went, I stayed.  Erin came out a few minutes later and went for a walk.  *rubs her forehead*  So I guess they broke up, heh...wow talk about chaos hmm?

I worry about Steven.  Erin seems to be fine, but Steven is very distressed.  It's almost exactly like what happened last summer with Josh and I, especially when Steven found out that he went on a date two days later, lied to him about it and such and so forth.   But yes, that was the drama that night.  It's really ongoing, and since Steven got his new job he's been working there a day and missed the second day because he's gotten physically sick ove rhte whole situation.  He loves that boy so much... it's really just crushing.  

And really, watching him as me kind of wondering what kind of ice queen I've become.  If this had happened a year ago, I would've been there by his side every step...but really, all I can do now is listen, and try to stay focused and go "yes, I know, I remember, I'm sorry".  I feel like I should be doing more...but perhaps I'm too tired for it.  Too tired to exert so much energy into it, which is not good.  I'm becoming distant and a bit cold.  *shudder*  If I don't have my compassion and empathy, what do I have?  *sigh*  But yes, I worry very much about him....I hope to high heaven that it works out for them.  In some way.

*blank stare* I completely lost my train of thought.  Hmmm... *tap tap*  So, when you lose your train of thought, what do you do but start a whole new train!  *blows the whistle* Here we go!

OH! I was going to tell you about the Solstice with Dan and Steven and Matt the Homo!  Well, sure let's get into that, why not, I'm in a good mood!

So, the 21st last month, Matt, Steven, Dan and I are going to go do a celebration that night.  And we were going to wait around for Erin too, just incase he wanted to go.  So, I suppose I should tell you that we were having trouble telling if we should involve Matt because we came to the realization that really...he has some delusions.  He's been actively studying for 3 months and is already writting a book...he thinks he knows quite a bit and he doesn't....he doesn't have enough info to know what is good from bad, really, we just kind of wanted to try and wake him up a bit.  So, we were already on edge.

Alright, well, Dan was supposed to write the ritual...well he didn't.  So Steven is making robes, gathering supplies and I'm off writting all of it, researching, writting, trying to make sure we have matrials, things like that *sigh* yeah, pain in the butt.  And Matt just keeps running around asking when we're going, not offering to help, not doing anything, just bothering everyone.  So I suggest he goes and makes food to eat afterward, or something like that, ask Steven if he could gather things for him....something...anything to be of help.  *sigh*  Well he doesn't.  He sits and plays his guitar in the side yard with a candle, a candle that he left there melted on our sidewalk by the way.  So we'rea ll a little more than slightly annoyed, and ready to finally go.  He says "Oh yeah, well I'm hungry so I'm going to get mc donalds and meet you there" ...because he wasn't already sitting around for 3 hours doing nothing or anything.  Oh well.

So we're up there finally, we went to the Quarry in Quarry Hill.  And we change right away, Matt comes by, and I half expected him to bring the McDonalds cup, heheh.  But yeah, Dan and Steven are very irritated, so I'm feeling that as we set up.  I'm trying to coax matt along and also trying to give him little hints that he might not know as much as he thinks.  Everyone goes to ground and center and we start.  Basically, the whole time, Matt was doing everything backwards or not at all co operating.  This was his first real full ritual, but he's been with Steven and I before when we've done things...so he should've at least had a slight idea what was going on.  Especially if he knew enough to write a book.   I could've respected a person who wanted to basically observe, I knew that he wasn't ready, and if he would've admitted that, that would've been fine.  But yeah... *sigh*  So we were doing rededication and dedication for our circle and Matt left to play guitar. 

*rubs her head*  Steven and Dan were fuming.  I'm really leaving quite a bit out...Matt asked to drink the holy water, he littered cigarette butts all over the place, made everyone wands, even after I told him that it wasn't exactly something that was done just as an attention thing, they seemed to think.  He played guitar very loudly and when we were interrupted by the stoners, he kept them around by playing even louder and singing to entertain them, rather than shoeing them off.  Though he did serve as a distraction, which was good.

Overall, I really think he needs to study and observe more.  He's a good guy, he's alright, but he needs to find himself.  He also has quite a bit of potential and some intersting ideas.  It hink he's a bit unrealistic though.  But yes, Steven and Dan were very very upset.  And I think Matt knew.  He hasn't been around since.  *sigh, rubs her head*

Hmm...what next shall I enlighten you all on.  Oh here's something I found rather interesting, actually....

All the random commentary I got from that last entry is really quite incredible.  I mean...what the hell...I got Cody commenting to me! *laughs hysterically*  It's insanity!  But really, I think more amazing than that is that I caught Mr. Bratsko's attention.

Yes, Stephen, I caught your little commentary.  And really *shrug* I couldn't stay mad at you, I just assumed that you wanted nothing to do with me since...well...I deserve it.  *cackles* I can't count how many times I was two inches away from sending an email or pm or some shit.  *shrugs a bit*  You're a good fellow, it was just a bad situation and I honestly hope things are going well for you, and really for everyone who's walked in and out of my life.  I can't hold grudges, even though I do still have nightmares about certain little run ins we had. *shudders*  Don't be afraid of me, you'll find no mallice here.

And Jess! *laughs* The Las Vegas Bitch.  *shakes her head* 'Cept you're not a bitch at all!  Thanks sweetheart.  Really, I might have to start taking people up on those offers, heh...shit a vacation would be nice.  Ugh, I need it, I think *rubs the bridge of her nose*  Heheh, we'll see what happens.   I have some lovely long distance friends.  Jess, Kraig, Stephen.  I care about you all, and thank you.

Oh! I didn't tell you about Aqeel's little idea.  Well, Aqeel is in the east, and I guess he cant sell or buy things online, something with not being able to have a credit card.  Anyway...He gave me a proposition to where there are people, artisans where he lives that spend weeks making things and get something like three dollars for them, then they're sold for lots more.  So...he wants to ship the things here to me, then have me sell them, online or otherwise, then send him 50% of the profit, and I'll keep the rest.  *shrug* I figure it might be worth a try, especially if it helps out the artisans.  I know I know, I might be being ignorant, but we'll see.  As I said, it really sounds like a good idea in theory, and I'd like to be able to help.  So, try it and see what happens. *pose*

*tap tap tap tap*  hmmmm anything else I can really chat it up about now that I have this thing open?  See, really it isn't a matter of actually writting stuff down...it's just a matter of me being lazy and not wanting to go through the trouble of opening this silly little pad up in msn and going to it, heheh.  I know I know, I'm pathetic. *shrug*  What of it.

I'm really trying to figure out if I have the flu or if it's something worse.  *shrug* I can't decide, but it's been a week that I've been like this...but the body aches are getting worse and worse.  My glands in the neck are slightly swolen, and under my right arm.  I keep coughing green crap up from my lungs, my throat is dry and sore, I have no voice, constant headaches and a runny nose, shortness and trouble breathing.  Really makes me wonder what the hell is going on here.   Might be just a really bad reaction from cleaning the downstairs bathroom .... ... *shrug* who knows.  I just hope it passes soon.

*yawn, stretch, pose*  I started a few little yoga positions and such, in an attempt to make myself feel like I"m actually doing something and keep myself healthy and such.  Heh...we'll see how that goes on.  I actually enjoy it quite a bit...it's just keeping at it, especially with these hard hard floors! Ouch!  But Josh seemed to notice *shrug* Out of the blue one day mentioning that I seemed to be getting better looking.  I thought it was just because...you know....now we're apart he's finally taking notice, hehehe, but *shrug* you never know. 

That's one thing that I have to say that I kinda missed... *sheepish blush* alright...so it's nice to hear that I look nice.  As shallow as it is, and as little work as I put into it, it's nice to hear.  I guess just because I never heard it when I was younger, it's kind of just like someone letting me know that they give a damn and notice.  It's not about just saying that I look good, it's not a vnity thing.  It's a "hey, I care enough to notice" thing.  Kind of like saying I love you, but more palpable. *laughs* If that made any sense at all.

In other news, Steven says that I should write articles for the paper or something.  *shrug*  I think that would be a fecking blast! I'd love to write an article for something.  I used to love writting papers for school as long as it wasn't a completely dry subject, and even if it was, I'd make it fun somehow.   I've heard before that I have a way with words, but...hmm...it might be something to try. *yawn* Ugh! fourth time I've yawned in a minute...I must be getting tired.  Stupid cold medicine.

Yeah...sorry if this doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but I took a dose of cold medicine so I'm really quite detatched and loopy right now... *giggles like mad*  Which may be part of the reason I'm in such a good mood right now...but really, I've been alright for a while now *nod nod*  I've been pretty damned peachy.  Oh, and here's a laugher for you...Josh said that I should date Brandon.  *cackles*  Wow, as if that wasn't crazy enough, they were talking about exes the other night at Thomas' house and Josh whipped out some of my pictures and Nina of all people said I was pretty. 

The whole world has gone insane....and really...I'm kind of enjoying the ride.  *snickers*

Right, well, another yawn, so I'm going to go crochet some more (I picked it up, making a big ol bag or something) and fall asleep.  ... ... ... Maybe go munch on the chocolate in the kitchen since I'm not allowed to do any cleaning with chemicals until my cold clears up...and I can't find the damned broom.  Fuxors.

Yep.  Catch you kids on the flip side.  And don't you kids be afraid to call, you know who ya are, my number hasn't changed any, and don't be bashful to ask.

Much love all over the place!  (All over your face, muah hahahahahah)
Doped up on cold medicine- §A